pressure? what pressure?

Somehow, I’ve been working on a little more young adult/teen material than usual this week, and you know what that does? It make me think about my own spent youth—who I was, who I am, where I’m going—how my life and personality have been shaped. Things I’ve done—and things I haven’t done. Things I have barely been tempted to do, that seem to drive so much teen trouble.


Case in point: fitting in. Being a vital part of the group. Any group. Identifying myself with a particular clique versus another clique.

Not my thing. (Even in junior high, when I wandered about basically friendless and nose-deep in books. Throw in a couple tree forts, lots of grass stains, and still-developing physical coordination, and you get the idea.)

Perhaps that’s noble. Or would be—if I’d done it intentionally.

But I seem to be lacking that thing—whatever that thing is—the thing that prompts people to try super hard to “fit in.”

Not that I wouldn’t do it. (Like I said—I’m not quite noble.) Sometimes it sounds nice, though it’s less vital now that I’m all big and grown-up. (Ish.) I just don’t seem to know how to go about it. So I really don’t. Not deeply, anyway. I maintain socially acceptable behavior, no worries, but that’s not the same thing. You dig? Or am I off my rocker?

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.

And I do have friends, I promise. I like people. Some more than others, natch, but I like people. (Quit laughing. I do. Most of the time.) I like to hang out and laugh and dance and play.

But trying to be popular? Nope. Not me.

The same with peer pressure. I can’t really say I’ve ever felt pushed to be a certain way, to adopt a certain personality. I’m sure it has affected me—I’m human—but perhaps the effects have been more subtle, below the radar.

Let’s put it this way: you say “peer pressure,” and I look up and go, “What? Huh? Oh, look—something shiny.”

Either I’m socially maladjusted or I’m way ahead of the curve. Eh. Who knows?

Perhaps I should join the “I don’t quite fit in” club.

Sorry, couldn’t resist. I love the irony.