going for broke

So, I'm gasping for air, sweat making my shirt cling to my body and running down the sides of my face. It's chilly, so my nose is running. I've taken a couple hard falls; I know I'll be sore tomorrow. I wish I had cleats  on; I've lost my footing several times today, once falling flat on my face, almost hard enough to knock the wind out of me. One of my hands stings; I've definitely bruised the meaty part of my palm this week; last week I broke a blood vessel on one of my fingers. Three weeks ago I earned a hand-sized bruise on my shin.

What on earth am I doing? I'm playing. Playing hard. Really hard. I've never been particulary nimble or quick, but by pushing hard I can keep up with just about anyone in this group.
Why? Why punish my body like this? Why try so hard when it doesn't really mean anything?

Because it's not punishment. It's love.

Love of life, and love for my body--for the fact that I can run and jump and hurl myself through the air and catch and throw and fall and laugh. It makes me feel alive. Truly, truly alive. Something in me loosens, for better or worse, making me just a tad wild and loud and flamboyant and perhaps, depending on your persepective, totally nuts. Those who know me are nodding their heads. Perhaps laughing. They've seen me like this.

So, even though I'll need a hot pad for my back after the game, I'll do it again. And again. Because life should be more than just sort of trying. Sometimes, you gotta push it. I'll never be an all-star, and I'll certainly never look attractive while doing it--but I do it, gladly.

I fall again, as three of us collide. I roll over my shoulder onto the cold turf, and laugh. I'm not the only one laughing. I bet God is laughing to, delighting in the fact that I delight in this body he's made me. And laughing because I look so silly.

guess what we're doing...

I'll give you a hint. It involves fabric and a staple gun.

fragility

And still and still and still
there is this restless seeker within me
and I had hoped she’d be dead by now,
dead and buried and at peace,
not writhing on this bed of apathy, not half-sedated by dreaming.
No, she must die.
Die—or be brought fully to life, to her feet, to dance, to sing, to make love
to chance to explore to leap so high into the air that
so high into the air that
so high into the air that
so high into the air that

And still and still and still
there is this restless seeker within me.

a moment with e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
e. e. cummings

wallpaper!

Hey, check out what my awesome mom and I did this weekend...

I certainly wouldn't have been able to do it without her. She's fierce! So fierce that this pic turned out blurry--from the sheer force of her power!

I'm totally painting that little light fixture lime green...party time!

hairspray attack!

Sure, I had better things to do with my time. But Halloween is coming...I had to practice potentials 'dos! It was the responsible thing to do.

And to be honest, I've always wanted to have hair that could do this...and, well, now that I can...

home decor delights

Well, at long last, here's my sewing room--all painted and purdy. Specifically, everyone needs to see my awesome red wall! And... the vintage pattern pics. Love it!

And here's the spectacle that was repainting my kitchen cabinet doors. I don't recommend jury-rigging a spray booth in your garage the way we did, but hey--we got 'er done! And the kitchen looks fabulous. Doors and handles, now--as of this weekend. The squarish ones, for those of you who came to my open house and "voted" for different handles.